"and I don't even know where to start... maybe that's a start."

russian antics.

shared with me by a friend. passing it on...

"You will ask why did I worry myself with such antics: answer, because it was very dull to sit with one's hands folded, and so one began cutting capers. That is really it. Observe yourselves more carefully, gentlemen, then you will understand that it is so. I invented adventures for myself and made up a life, so as at least to live in some way."

I want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow

We emerged from our hotel to this on Sunday morning.

How can something so beautiful sometimes be so inconvenient and dangerous?

that was easy?

About a year ago on this blog I quoted a movie I had recently watched in film class.

The quote went something like: "Things take on more meaning when the story ends" "that's because history starts to come in"

Last year, I posted this in reference to my experiences abroad. This year, I post it in reference to the end of my undergrad at Clemson.

I've been so fixated this past week on getting through finals that I've found little time to grasp what these moments mean.

Still, as Friday has finally come...as I officially cannot rid myself of coffee scent, as I've pulled my last all-nighters, and enjoyed the traditional, exam week library camaraderie, all comes to a standstill now. With one more assignment to turn in, I find that I'm asking myself "are you sure you want to turn that one in?" Because choosing to go through with this act does, in fact, signify the end- and for the first time all semester I'm seeing where all of this is taking on meaning.

History. The history that I have built at Clemson. It's coming at me from all directions now and taking on form. I can sense its complexities and I can sense its effects and it's both exciting and scary to be consumed by.

wow.

Because her singing voice is better...

Just one reason I love the Christmas season- "A Very Rosie Christmas" by Rosie Thomas.

Listen to it. I dare you.

o home o home.

It's hard to believe that I hadn't been home in four months prior to this past Thanksgiving holiday. And I must say, I didn't know I could be so in love or have such an enjoyable time with family, friends, and the northeast.

I kept emphasizing to my parents how enjoyable my visit was, and their response was that it was because I am older now and I have come to truly appreciate my family. At first I laughed and told them that that is nothing new, that I've always appreciated them, but when I stopped to think about it perhaps they are right- perhaps I now hold a different kind of appreciation for them. Now that the opportunity to come home is less frequent, the times that I do come home have become more valuable. My relationship has changed with my parents as I have grown, because they no longer are my daily caretakers. I enjoy their company as people, not just as my parents (if that makes sense). Experiencing just how much Anna has grown up in four short months established a new dynamic in our relationship, as I felt less as a babysitter and more like a friend. Laughing with Meghan and learning how to respect her for where she is in her life and learning to support her as she continues her journey. And I greatly enjoyed having Corey spend the holiday with us, as it reminded me that friendships also play a valuable role in the community that is family.

I fell in love again with the Northeast this past week (well, technically Maryland is the Mid-Atlantic, but still). I don't know if it was because I hadn't been home in so long or what, but something about it just seemed absolutely perfect. I've always loved the smell of the northeast air, it's less thick and a bit crispier...stings your cheeks a bit more. Spending time in downtown Frederick and Annapolis reminded me how much I love the colonial history of the area, the compactness of old downtown streets. The coffee- not that Java City hasn't sufficiently provided for me throughout the past four years, but seriously, the coffee's better up there. And the people, so many of whom are humorous, outgoing, and family-oriented. I want to live other places at other times, but I think it's safe to say that the Northeast will always be home and I want to return there.

So until Christmas, it's been real MD.