A7.

My homecoming was supposed to be a joyous one. Not so much.
I'm currently sitting in a terminal, headphones in, drinking an Odwalla, and praising God for wireless- all five days too early and not in good spirits.

In books and movies, you see people heading home, after a long-term absence, due to a death or other form of tradegy. I remember thinking how hard that must be, not returning home to a celebratory reunion, but to ceremonial mourning.

I don't do funerals. Call me naive, immature, whatever, but I fear them. They make me angry, make me want to close myself off from the world, as if it's not happening. Because they hurt others, and I can't bear to see others hurting, nor hurting within myself. I realize this may sound awful, but I think anyone would agree that death is not a favored reality check. Still, regardless of how I feel, this is not my time to be selfish. I will return home, support my family and my late uncle. I will face it and be strong. For my dad. For my grandma. For my sisters. And I will rest assure that God's cracked and calloused working hands will emerge once more, to shape something beautiful from something so sad and painful.

Sorry this is so depressing.

All Alone.

I'm in the office. No one is here. I've finished all my work and want to leave. However, I don't have a key. Therefore, I have to wait until the other intern comes back from lunch. What is a girl to do in an empty office!? oh wait here comes the other intern...

5 Miles.

I'd forgotten how good it feels to run this much. Clears the head. Replenishes the endorphins. Puts me back in better spirits.

Anyway, I just took part of a conversation regarding passion and activism. The question posed was this: Does it make sense to become part of movement of which you have yet to develop a deep passion, for the sake of wanting to present the movement in an aesthetic, artistic way? Basically, is it wrong to do things backwards- first become part of the movement and then hopefully develop the passion for it along the way.

When it comes to forgiveness, Christianity tells us that we are to forgive, regardless of whether or not we are emotionally compelled to do so. The question posed above sort of resembles this thought process. Shouldn't we be active regardless of whether or not we have a strong passion to be so?

My answer: I do think that passion needs to exist before one becomes active in a movement. Granted, more than passion is necessary for a movement to be successful. For instance, a person cannot allow their passion to bury the inevitable truth that there are going to be obstacles along the way. The person must also be prepared and develop a hard work ethic. Passion is essential though because it tends to act as the emotional stimulus for others. It is passion that brings about more people. It is passion that keeps the creative juices flowing. And it is that passion, if kept in the right perspective, that will help the movement through those obstacles.

The person I was conversing with was feeling impatient, longing to discover a movement that he/she was passionate enough about to start taking action. I'm not a firm believer in "waiting until God lays things in front of you." I believe that you need to be actively searching while actively praying. This is the same situation. To discover the passion, start with smaller, simpler outlets. Establish connections. Have experiences. And along the way, that passion is bound to one day overwhelm you.

You Are Beautiful

Something Reid and I are planning to focus some attention on this summer:
http://www.you-are-beautiful.com/

"The reasons why street artists are doing what they are doing, in the way that they are doing, is not simply to question their surroundings; but to provide alternative perspectives, meanings, or values to those of consumerism.Advertising elicits a response to buy, where this project elicits a response to do something. The attempt with You Are Beautiful is to create activism instead of consumerism."

Keowee.

Sunny days, yay. Too bad sunny days= painful sunburns. It's been awhile since I've been this burnt. My wrists are blistered and my neck has an outline of my necklace, chain included. All I want to do is lay down...which is why I'm doing so right now as I type this entry.

Regardless of the sunburn, I do want to spend more time on the lake this summer. I realized, yet again, how much more I enjoy the lake than the beach- Kristin don't hate me. I love being near the mountains and the isolated, quiet sensation that surrounds you when you're out on the water. It's just one of those feel-good moments.

Now I will wait for Kristin's return home. According to her GPS, she'll be arriving in Greenville at 2:06 pm. It's 1:52 now so not much longer.

Random Thought: The Tootsie Roll Pop ad campaign "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" Who the freak cares? Should our society be considered pathetic since clearly it made people buy more tootsie pops, desiring to discover the answer? And, it really bothers me how the owl in the commercial takes the boy's lollypop and eats it. So now we're a society that promotes stealing as well as stupidity? Crazy candy company!

-Don't take this rant seriously, it's just an attempt at comedic drama-

Engagement.

No, I'm not talking wedding engagement. The context in which I'm referring to in the selection of tonight's blog title is that of conversation- engaging in conversation.

I haven't clicked on a television since Sunday afternoon- unless you count watching The Paper online [don't make fun]. While I don't consider myself a television junkie by any means, I certainly enjoy the great American hobby of vegging out in front of the talking box every now and then. However, in the absence of television, and not that I'm counting this the only reason for these recent happenings, but I have managed to spend a lot of time in conversation with some great people. To name three:

Mr. and Mrs. Samuelson. Hands-down, absolutely wonderful people. Two nights ago I sat and talked with Mr. Sam for a good hour before I spent another hour talking to the two of them. And then last night I spent almost three hours just talking to Mrs. Sam. I really think I can learn a lot from them this summer and I couldn't be more grateful to them for opening up their home to me.

April- Assistant Editor at work. When I first met her back in February she was pretty quirky and kind of hard to have a conversation with. The first time we went out to eat it was pretty awkward, but over the past few months it has become easier, and especially this week, she's really opened up. We ate lunch today at SWAD, a hole-in-the wall Indian restaurant on the skirts of town and I'm happy to report their were no akward silences.

Three. Nice, sturdy odd number. I like things odd.

Anyway, it's all just been refreshing.

I'll close on a random thought: I went to buy a new toothbrush yesterday and started to ponder all the different toothbrushes I've had in my lifetime. I just think it's funny how I actually put thought into selecting a new brush, disregarding the fact that it doesn't matter, because in a few months it will be thrown away and I won't be able to remember it for its once-uniqueness.

Welcome Home.

I'm officially moved out of 102G and officially moved in to the Samuelson residence in Greenville. Tonight, Anna asked me if it was weird not being home for the summer, but I didn't have a definite answer. I guess it hasn't fully sunk in that my summer rythms aren't going to be taking place in Middletown/with my family/with Cassie&Brianna&Alex. I do find it weird, however, that Lauren is currently in Middletown sans Alex and I. Hmm..

I didn't realize how much stuff I had in that small apartment before attempting to move it all out today. I tried as hard as I could to weed through things, making good will piles and such, but still...what an accumulation! There was so much that I "couldn't part with." This leaves me feeling rather uneasy. What the hell do I need it for? I kind of wish I could give it all away and go live among a remote African tribe of some sort.

Anyway, work starts full-time tomorrow, and I'll be back down in Clemson to put even more stuff in storage. Lame Kelly, lame.
I love/miss everyone.

Fried Green 'Maters.

C'est finit. Alors, bonjour l'ete!
The past week I've been experiencing a weird transitional feeling. School is over. Roommates are leaving, but I haven't. My room is empty except for a bed and things I will be taking to the Samuelson's. Work hasn't started full time. So what's a girl to do?

For starters, I took a trip to Nashville to visit Bailey and Jeff, and I'm still pretty keen on moving there after I graduate. Interesting, the diversity of people you can find in the city. In the two days I was there, I met some fascinating people:

-An old security guard at the Frist Museum. He was an engineering student who dropped out of MIT because he couldn't afford it, finishing off at Vanderbilt. He told Jeff and I we should value the fact that we have a passion for writing because he "sure as hell don't!" He flunked english the first time he took it in h.s.
-Dave, a dobro player who started a bluegrass band in Cookeville,TN. He graduated from ETSU with a psyche degree, lived in Boone for awhile, and was a dedicated skater/snowboarder until one day he turned on the radio and heard a bluegrass song. He was hooked after that, and came back to Nashville (where he grew up) to pursue music.
-Christo, a boy from Iceland whose family is originally from Columbia, South America. He has been couch hopping around the U.S. for awhile and is trying to get down to South America. Bailey's friends wanted him to experience some old time music before he headed down to Florida, so he came with us to her show. I've never seen a person so thankful for any kind of opportunity...his face was illuminating the entire night.

These are just a few, but you get the idea. I decided I want to make it a new goal of mine to start talking to strangers more. This weekend, I particularly noticed Jeff's ability to start a conversation with a random person, only for them to leave knowing a great deal about each other's lives. I think this is an awesome way to learn more about the world, just listening to other people's experiences and having the opportunity to share your own. Something to think about.

"Aw, I really liked her!"

Oh how I'll miss these crazy characters/best rooms' ever.

More later...

Dress-Up & De-construction.

Thursday night was the big launch party for G Magazine :
The party was held at High Cotton in downtown Greenville, and as "super important intern" I worked the table outside, directing people into the party and handing out complimentary issues of the magazines to passerbys who were curious as to the shenanigans going on inside. I brought Kristin along to help and I was really glad she got to come and meet the people I work with. Being at the party and seeing so many people in support of our first issue really got me excited for working full-time this summer. I love that my friends and I are scattering off and getting internships in our fields. We're making the first big dents in our "career lives" and I can't wait to see the new things we will all learn.
Speaking of dents, I made a large one in packing up my room today:
I'm really not ready to leave the 102G yet, but we'll save the nostalgia for a future entry (official move-out isn't until next Friday). Reid came and took down my curtains and helped spackle my room (so glad I landed myself an amazing spackler). I can't get myself to paint over the quote/maps yet...I'm just not ready to part with them! So Alex, Lauren, Reid and I found a meaningful purpose (other than pleasant viewing) for the maps:



It's probably hard to see what's written, so I'll break in down.
In France, we have the birth location of Jeff and the once-home of Ashley (note: Reid's middle school spelling of the word "was"). And in the U.S. we have:
-Kansas: Corey's Home
-California: Taylor's Home (not forever, just at some point)
-A heart linking Corey & Taylor (not even my idea Cor)
-Nashville: My future home
-St. Louis: Kristin & Jimmy's home (whether they like it or not!)
-Greenville: Jeff's future home (w/ his parents)
-Anderson: Lauren & Doug's future home (though Lauren objects)
-Boston: Alex's future home
-York, Maine: Reid's future home
-And we had to label "The Island" for Kristin.
Done. Too bad we hadn't thought to write in the maps earlier in the year. Now I just have to paint over them in a few days...