Goodbye!

So, since blogger is giving my trouble changing my email address to my non-clemson email address, I have moved this blog.

It may now be found here

k bye!

beauty in the breakdown.

It is amazing what an iCal and a mattress can do for one's sanity.

I've been very overwhelmed the past few weeks, feeling unprepared and unmotivated. Unprepared because I have yet to pack, yet to purchase furniture, yet to figure out car stuff, etc. Unmotivated, because while I'm aching to be out of transition, there is that part of me holding back, wanting to stay in this life chapter, not wanting to move forward.

Saturday was my most restless day, and I reached a breaking point. I went into the basement and assessed all that I need to take with me, talked with my roommate and determined what we would need for the apartment, and completed my FERPA training online (*this is for my assistantship. It is basically the do's and don'ts of dealing with student education records). Then, Saturday evening, I opened up the iCal. I've resisted over the past couple of years despite KB's push for me to use it. I spent a good hour and a half sorting through all the emails my boss/the university have sent me over the past few months regarding different meetings and orientation sessions and put it all on my calendar. What a relief to have it all organized!

While I'm not too concerned heading out west without bedroom furniture, I knew that I needed to have at least a bed when I arrived. Anyone who knows me knows what a cheapo I am when it comes to money, so this was NOT any easy task getting me to lay down the big bucks for a mattress. But, I did it today, and the salesman at Macy's was nice enough to give me the Labor Day sale price a few days early. And will have the bed shipped and arriving in Seattle on the exact day I am fixed to arrive myself. How convenient.

There is still a lot to be done before I feel any sort of settlement (specifically the fact that I have to get there), but these little things have brought peace of mind for now. And of course, I have to remember how blessed I am to have the support of my friends and family right now during what it going to be a crazy transition. I love all of you!

Setting Out.

I'm ready for my life to get exciting again.

I think I'll start with a week-long trip to Charleston/Clemson tomorrow.

First Attempt.

This is my first attempt at using Garage Band.

Sorry if I make your ears hurt!

my ten.

1. Tonight I watched my mom laugh uncontrollably to the point that she was rolling around on my parents' bedroom floor.

2. My two best friends from high school, Cassie and Brianna, were in town for a long week and the three of us were able to spend the most consecutive time we've had together since Summer '07. This included a fun-filled venture to D.C.

3. I got to spend last night in Boarders with Anna, helping her pick out a book for summer reading, sharing with her books from my past, and looking through a book filled with the famous skylines of the United States and the World.

4. I have the support of my friends and family to move to Seattle come August.

5. I found out that I am able to defer my student loans for another two years until I am out of graduate school.

6. I get to start my days with morning coffee with mom.

7. The beautiful scenery that is Middletown that I get to play around in.

8. I've had time to rest and do a lot of reading.

9. My dad had been patient with me and is willing to school me in the ways of adulthood. Both my parents actually are doing such.

10. I am friends with Claire Hammes Loy and God uses her to remind me of the beauty and praiseworthy things he fills my day with.

Dinner at the Russell's.

Rockfish caught by Dad in the Chesapeake Bay, jumbo shrimp, corn on the cob (favorite summer food), etc. Second truly nice weather day since I've been home. Glad to spend it with family.

Beautiful Things.

All this pain

I wonder if I’ll ever find my way

I wonder if my life could really change at all

All this earth

Could all that is lost ever be found

Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

All around

Hope is springing up from this old ground

Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make me new, You are making me new

-mgb.

odl lay ee hoo.

I watched the Sound of Music last night and woke up this morning wanting to learn how to yodel. I've been trying for the last hour. It's hard.

Is that weird?

I guess I can answer that one myself...

homestay.

I need a place to live next year. I've come to accept that fact that rent in Seattle will be significantly higher, and that rent more often than not does not include water, internet, cable, and electricity- I didn't realize how good I actually had it Clemson.

The goal, and people might say this is a long shot goal, is to find a place where I am spending under $700 total each month. I don't think my heart or bank account could handle anything more (and $700 is really pushing it). Shopping Craig's List has been frustrating since pretty much anything I've found, the landlords want some one to start renting immediately. Can't do that just yet.

Sidenote: I'm not sure if this is a popular trend in other cities, but I've noticed that the cheapest apartments in Seattle are basement apartments. Maybe it's me being picky, but I might be depressed if I have to live in a basement. I can't imagine you can get much sun down there (even if they advertise it so).

Also, the decision of whether or not to have a roommate. It doesn't seem that living in a new city, that is often overcast and rainy, mixes well with being alone in an apartment, but maybe it could be fun? I've never lived alone. Then again, it seems every time I try and spend a few days away from people, I only end up bored and anxious. But maybe living alone will help me fix this? Thoughts would be appreciated.

I'm calling on good house hunters... find me a place to live!

film-o-matic.

On a slight whim I took a trip down to Annapolis today. I say slight whim because I knew at some point this month I would be meeting up with work-friend Jonathan for lunch when he came up to Annapolis to move his mom/stepdad. However, I didn't know upon waking up this morning that it would be today.

With the weather being so bad over the past few days, I was thrilled for the chance to leave the house for the day. Upon leaving the company of Jonathan I decided to pop on over to my grandma's house. Boy do I love this place. In my 22 years of existence I feel like it is one of the rare places that I can count on to always stay pretty much the same. My grandma fed me rhubarb and strawberry pie, which I was reluctant to try at first. Let's just say I ended up having more than one piece.

After pie, we got to talking about pictures and old home movies, and I remembered my mom saying that my grandma had a voice recording of her when she was little reading the story of Cinderella. This recording was of interest to me, as all of the home movies I've ever seen of my parents have been without sound. I wanted to hear what my mom sounded like at age 3. The question of where this tape was set my grandma and I on a two-hour exploration through countless old media technology. I had no idea my grandma had still kept such things. Behold:

The tape seen directly upon is the aforementioned Cinderella tape. My grandma says she has a new friend at the camera store that can hopefully transfer it over to something that is actually listenable. I'll cross my fingers.


I feel like a lot of my friends have been passed on antique jewelry and such from their grandmas, which I myself have never really received. I guess in not receiving such things, I had come to foolishly believe that my grandmother was not the keeper of antinque treasures? However, after our extended search today, I realized that we only touched the surface of some of the fascinating stuff my grandma still has on her hands. I plan to do more searching as the summer goes on. I'll let you know what I find.

and again.

And so summer blogging begins.

There just wasn't a lot to update on this past semester. Yes, things went on. There was laughter, smiles, tears. Still, the majority of my time was spent at the office, where let's face it, even though I'm now missing the place/people dearly, there wasn't much worth sharing.

The past five months have been interesting ones. There was a lot of anger and a lot of stress and frustration. Also a lot of sad goodbyes. Still, when I take a step back there was a lot of joy. A lot of happiness. A LOT of learning. Even if it meant overextended work weeks, I don't regret my decision to stay in Clemson after graduation. I'm just sad that it seems as though I met so many great people this past year, and I long to have had more time to spend with them. A friend recently replaced the saying, "That's Life" with "That's Lif." I'll use that same phrase here- That's lif, I guess.

Maryland is unexpectedly cold. Cold and rainy. I guess I should probably be getting used to that though. Back in November I had made a list of everything I had hoped to accomplish in my post-graduate Clemson life. Sadly, a lot of that list did not get done, and as such has been added on to my now summer list. Really, my list is specific, but when it comes down to it I really just want to be outside as much as possible and love on people- those close by and those far away.

And that seems all for now- I guess I need to refresh how to better end these posts.

at the gardens.

oh how i'll miss the muggy Carolina air

after a rain shower, before a rain shower.

in the early morning when there are few people in sight.

the wind stirs and your face feels slightly sticky.

you hear bird calls and bees buzzing between trees.

oh, how beautiful it is!

i would proclaim is so, but don't want to disturb the peace

my air will be fresh out west,

but oh how i'll miss this.

leaves on the branches bobbing up and down

in rhythm to my creaking swing

back and forth, back and forth

i can smell the green

can almost taste its sweetness

this air is home, has been home.

a bit of blue peers between the clouds

adding a palette of different colors to the scene above my head

below my feet, the brown leaves of winter have given way to the grasses of spring.

the grasses of summer.

and while the Sound and so much grand and natural beauty await me out West,

oh how i'll miss this.

right now this is perfection. this is life-giving. this is my carolina home.

oh how i want to hug you, my carolina home.

unfurnished.

It is the saddest thing to sell your childhood furniture. And further, that in the end, the money is going towards a plane ticket to a place it can't come with me.

where does the spirit rest?

"the spirit is the truth" - 1 John 5:6

i say, to you and you and you

joy is very much alive

in that place of isolation

in that place of fear

joy is very much alive

in that place of discontent

in that place of distortion

i say, dwell in honesty

and you will find your joy

you will find your answers.

you will find so much love, you know not what do with it.

be consumed.

and then, let it out.

pour onto others. as it has been poured onto you.

i say, to you and you and you

you each have gifts

you each have passions

see these. trust these. love these.

allow for redemption. allow for goodness. allow for compassion.

release the spirit.

she stood.

she stood face to face with love today.

When the morning sun hit her face. When the first cup of coffee touched her lips.

she felt the joy and hope that today brings to so many millions of hearts.

she felt clean. Washed and fresh.

All around her the earth was in bloom, the fields yielding to budding trees.

the cherry blossoms. the bradford pears.

In her ear she heard bells. Bells from the hilltop church, ringing forth throughout the valley.

she was among family and among laughter. suddenly, she blinked, finding herself inside the hilltop church- looking upon the eyes of her savior. Knowing it was his day, she smiled. the priest's thunderous voice made her smile. The mother in front of her, singing hymns into the ear of her infant child, made her smile.

another blink, and she found herself on an airplane, alone. She knew little of the place she is headed, but she knows that today she stood face to face with love. And this knowledge, she is certain, is all that really matters.

lesson learning.

the boldness to go forth and live out your passion.

how unmotivated it would be to not go forth...

contentment.

a culmination.

Is this a time of refreshment?

Learning to be content with glimpses, rather than clear images?

Learning to recognize the consistent opportunities that he is granting me to act. to move.

In this early morning there is joy, great joy. Because I am being taken to great places.

Great places because they are purposeful. Because they house community. Because they were faithfully and creatively made.

Quote of the Week

My 11-year-old sister, the aspiring meteorologist.

On yesterday's tornado warning:

"Okay Kelly, here is the plan. I'm going to get a plane to Atlanta, catch a taxi to the Weather Center, grab Jim Cantore, then, pick up award-winning meteorologist Dr. Greg Forbes, and then drive to Athens where we will save Meghan (other sister) from the tornado!"

O those two.

I miss these two. I was around Anna's age when they both passed away and as I've gotten older I've had an overwhelming longing to be able to talk with them now- to hear their stories, their views on life, and why they chose to live so simply and give so much to others.

I hate that. When you're young, you have no understanding of the value that comes with spending time with the elderly. They were simply the ones that greeted me at the end of the hallway, as I ran what seemed a great distance to their apartment door. They were the ones that would give me duck food (aka bread) and then laugh as I went onto their balcony and threw whole pieces of bread down at the ducks below- eating more myself than I let fall down.

They were the two who kept an old tin full of cookies above the refrigerator, the two who had a variety of colorful soaps that laid in a basket on the floor of their bathroom. The two who fought like cats and dogs but loved each other dearly. The two who only ever called me Kelly Marie.

She was the one who let me try on all of her old jewelry, who had an antique doll collection, who loved to read, and would always sing Hickory Dickory Dock to me. She was the one who would yell at me to get my feet off of her coffee table, but would laugh a second later when I would fall to the floor and say "I've fallen and I can't get up."

He was the one who would sit me up on the kitchen table and let me pull his suspenders back and snap them back onto his chest, pretending that it hurt so that I would laugh. He was the one who had excellent carpentry skills, who could make train gardens, cupboards, and rocking chairs. He was the one who would make me three-corner hats made out of newspapers and rings made out of dollar bills. He was the one who always wanted salami and cheese as a Christmas stocking stuffer, who you had to yell loudly to so that he could hear you. He was the one who always told me "Don't be afraid because I will always be with you" and to be "a leader not a follower."

These are simple memories, but I hold them dear. As I've grown, I've paid more attention to the stories my father and grandmother have told about them and as I said before, I long to be able to spend time with them today. They were two genuinely unselfish and loving people that I am proud to call my great grandparents.